Dealing with negative emotions is a universal experience. In last week’s blog post, I wrote that,
“…you will always have to overcome some combination of the following challenging emotional states to keep your word: fatigue, discouragement, loneliness, overwhelm, doubt, nervousness, humiliation, frustration, resentment, powerlessness, anger, feeling inadequate or imcompetent, and even jealousy of others.
The power of self-confidence and keeping your word is learning to embrace these emotional states as they come up, and accept them as appropriate and warranted given the goal that you are pursuing. If you stop trying to run away from these negative emotions, you are already half way towards the successful completion of your goal. The power comes through pushing through those disempowering states. Even better, get excited about them! Anticipate these emotions and welcome them as part of a natural component on your path to victory.”
Here are three powerful ways to learn to embrace these negative emotions and use them to your advantage.
1- Learn to love them.
My wife and I both love to spend time together and feel grateful that I work from home. When she goes to Paris to see her family or on her yearly girls beach trip, I go into single parent mode. One way I have been able to deal with the frustration, overwhelm and tiredness when she is away to adopt the belief that, “I love missing her.” Focusing on the positive side of missing her reminds me of why I love being with her on a day to day basis. This leads me to positive thoughts and memories and my mood changes for the better. Very often you can take a disempowering emotion, and turn it upside down by giving it a new meaning. That new association can then help you move past the moment and discomfort.
2- Journal the answer to this question,
“what is there to learn from this feeling of ___________, the learning of which, will allow me to let go of it, easily and effortlessly?”
There is a reason “why” we feel disempowering emotional states but most of the time we don’t stop to ask ourselves “why.” I like to say that disempowering emotional states are indicators of where we are incongruent between our head and heart. Clearing up the conflict between what we think and how we feel, allows us to find a new belief and action to take that are more congruent.
3- Focus on what you want to create.
Shifting your focus to “creating what you want to have” will often times push disempowering emotional states away. If you shift your focus to what you want to create by taking an action, your focus will shift to a more empowering place. If you have a hard time exercising, shift your focus to what you want to create by exercising; an energetic, healthy, vibrant body where you feel good about yourself. If you are pushing back on your taxes, shift your focus to what you want to create by completing them; a new financial future where you manage your money responsibly and reap the rewards for it.
Shifting your thoughts away from what you’re feeling in the moment towards what you want to create in the future will help you work through disempowering emotions.
What are some of your strategies for dealing with negative emotions and moving forward through adversity? Please comment below!
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James Murphy provides Executive Life Coaching to independent business owners, entrepreneurs, and executives. He can be reached directly at James@evolutionforsuccess.com, 919-745-7569 or on the web at www.evolutionforsuccess.com.
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